​The Pick Up Girls smartwatch must be some kind of subversive joke

Because nothing real could be this distasteful, amateur and downright funny
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We checked the date and it's not 1 April and it's not branded by Pornhub, which can only mean one thing: the Pick Up Girls smartwatch must be a joke.

The new Indiegogo campaign is looking for crowdfunding cash to develop a smartwatch to help men with the ladies – a sort of wrist-worn Mel Gibson from What Women Want, if you will.

And now read: Our most awkward wearable tech fails

The watch boasts a myriad of features and tech to woo females into the wearer's arms and makes some incredibly bold promises.

Despite a smartwatch and pulling tool being the biggest oxymoron since the invention of the chocolate kettle, the makers of the Pick Up Girls smartwatch claim the device uses subliminal messages played at below 20Hz (the audible frequency) to trick– no – persuade girls into bed.

It also promises to boost the wearer's confidence, turn them into natural born flirts via hypnosis and use 'neurolinguistic programming' via a coin that reads "I AM COOL" to turn you into a wearable Don Juan.

As crowdfunding jokes go, the Pick Up Girls smartwatch is one of the best. The video above is a laugh a minute (literally, I laughed six times as the incredibly long promo droned on) and even the Indiegogo page itself is a comic masterpiece, from the outright amazing:

"On one of our watch faces there are beautiful roses so you can show your watch to a girl and say: 'I got these flowers for you'. Every girl likes to get flowers."

To the subtle Photoshop on these mock-ups of the Apple Watch.

​The Pick Up Girls smartwatch must be some kind of subversive joke

It also has some real specs such as a 32GB internal storage but does anyone really care? Judging that in its first week of funding it has precisely zero backers, it's safe to assume that no-one does.

The whole thing is a masterpiece of technology satire. A subversive comment on the crowdfunding generation. Because it's definitely a joke – right?! Because taking pick up advice from someone who made this would be the biggest oxymoron of all.

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James Stables


James is the co-founder of Wareable, and he has been a technology journalist for 15 years.

He started his career at Future Publishing, James became the features editor of T3 Magazine and T3.com and was a regular contributor to TechRadar – before leaving Future Publishing to found Wareable in 2014.

James has been at the helm of Wareable since 2014 and has become one of the leading experts in wearable technologies globally. He has reviewed, tested, and covered pretty much every wearable on the market, and is passionate about the evolving industry, and wearables helping people achieve healthier and happier lives.

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