​The Pick Up Girls smartwatch must be some kind of subversive joke

Because nothing real could be this distasteful, amateur and downright funny
Pick Up Girls hypnotises women into bed

We checked the date and it's not 1 April and it's not branded by Pornhub, which can only mean one thing: the Pick Up Girls smartwatch must be a joke.

The new Indiegogo campaign is looking for crowdfunding cash to develop a smartwatch to help men with the ladies – a sort of wrist-worn Mel Gibson from What Women Want, if you will.

And now read: Our most awkward wearable tech fails

The watch boasts a myriad of features and tech to woo females into the wearer's arms and makes some incredibly bold promises.

Despite a smartwatch and pulling tool being the biggest oxymoron since the invention of the chocolate kettle, the makers of the Pick Up Girls smartwatch claim the device uses subliminal messages played at below 20Hz (the audible frequency) to trick– no – persuade girls into bed.

It also promises to boost the wearer's confidence, turn them into natural born flirts via hypnosis and use 'neurolinguistic programming' via a coin that reads "I AM COOL" to turn you into a wearable Don Juan.

As crowdfunding jokes go, the Pick Up Girls smartwatch is one of the best. The video above is a laugh a minute (literally, I laughed six times as the incredibly long promo droned on) and even the Indiegogo page itself is a comic masterpiece, from the outright amazing:

"On one of our watch faces there are beautiful roses so you can show your watch to a girl and say: 'I got these flowers for you'. Every girl likes to get flowers."

To the subtle Photoshop on these mock-ups of the Apple Watch.

It also has some real specs such as a 32GB internal storage but does anyone really care? Judging that in its first week of funding it has precisely zero backers, it's safe to assume that no-one does.

The whole thing is a masterpiece of technology satire. A subversive comment on the crowdfunding generation. Because it's definitely a joke – right?! Because taking pick up advice from someone who made this would be the biggest oxymoron of all.

TAGGEDWearables

2 Comments

  • Hypno-Learn says:

    You fail to mention that there are hundreds of studies done by Madison Avenue and universities since the 1950s saying that hypnosis and subliminal programming have an effect on behavior.This watch is a breakthrough in the technology that exists in smartwatches.

    A shy guy can overcome his anxiety and start being friendly with girls. This is both good for the guy and the girls. The guy who is likely to use this watch is intelligent and has the money to spend on gadgets. Some girls would think that he is a find. But he is not speaking up. It took me over 20 years to overcome my shyness. Maybe some of these guys can do it in 30 days and be able to enjoy years of social interactions with attractive women that they would not have if they did not have this tool.  My next watch comes out in September and is geared towards women.

    • j.stables says:

      "On one of our watch faces there are beautiful roses so you can show your watch to a girl and say: 'I got these flowers for you'. Every girl likes to get flowers." – This whole idea borders on offensive for everyone concerned.

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